Well ReRack Network, the time has come. It is officially my time to come aboard and establish my reign as the company’s new CFO, Chief Futbol Officer. I am putting the entire payroll on notice right here, right now. It is time we start getting serious. With that being said, my first order of business is to cause total frustration on the European mind. Phil Foden is the best English player to ever play the game. There I said it. Let that sink in. And I do not want to hear any Marcus Rashford shouts from a soul.

Now that we have established that, why don’t we talk some footy?

In this series, I am going to break down the current match week, give out a couple betting picks, and probably even cause a few arguments for “ball knowers” and that is okay. I’ll forgive you eventually.

Saturday, 12/14/24

Liverpool v Fulham – 10:00am EST

Thanks for coming out Fulham. Liverpool are unstoppable at the moment. No further comment at this time.

Newcastle United v Leicester City – 10:00am EST

Newcastle are sitting in 12th place, currently in the middle of Tottenham above them and Manchester United below them. That is a terrible place to be in the table. That is some bad, loser company to be in. Newcastle are in ok form with a record of 1-2-2 in their last 5. They are a much better squad than that. Coming off a loss handed to them by Brentford, who by the way hung 4 goals on their heads, they desperately need to win this week. Leicester on the other hand, stink. Their main man up front is 37 year old, Jamie Vardy. That. Should tell you all you need to know. There is a reason why they sit in 16th. They are butt. Sorry, Ruud. You can’t save them.

Wolves v Ipswich Town – 10:00am EST

EWWWWWWWWWWWW. Both of these clubs do not belong in the Premier League. I have been Wolves’ biggest hater for years now. They are just yellow Crystal Palace at this point. All they do is just find talent, develop said talent, and then sell them. There is zero desire from the club to establish a winning culture and actually do something big. I mean, their fans on X were in arguments and discussions with West Ham fans over who gets to lose the match and finally fire their manager. What is that? Chicago Bears of the EPL. Gross game, can both teams lose? Something I would love to see. Thanks for participating this year Ipswich, see you never.

Nottingham Forest v Aston Villa– 12:30pm EST

We have to sit through absolute stinker matchups to get to something finally worth watching. It’s a 5/6 matchup between two teams with identical season records and points. Both teams at 25 points through 15 games, decent. But not what I expected from either team. Villa is finally playing European competitions again after a very solid season last year. I expected Villa to struggle a little bit in the league, similar to what happened to Newcastle last season after their first European competition in a million years. But not really for Villa. I expected them to beat a couple teams earlier in the season but they have hung around the top of the table for some time now. Forest on the other hand, absolutely stunk it up last year. Probably should have been relegated if I’m being honest. Then again, can you really have a premier league without Chris Wood? That’s all Forest needs. Chris Wood. Feed him. This should be the best game on Saturday.

Sunday, 12/15/24

Manchester City v Manchester United- 11:30am EST

The Manchester Derby. As we all know, Manchester is blue. It has been blue since the very beginning but so much so since 2013. Both teams are questionable. City have been absolutely awful since the beginning of November. United have been stuck in the same cycle since 2014. Stink, show some signs of competence, draw games, finish anywhere from 3rd to 7th and repeat the following season. That’s just how it’s been. Sue me. They’re mid. City have so many injuries at the moment, I don’t know how their lineup is even going to look. But, it is United on the other side. Let’s just be real. Both teams will not be playing any defense (Not like United has one anyway) and they’ll have a counter-attack-off (I’m praying for you Kyle Walker). That’s what I think. I also think City will come out with a much stronger attack and dominate their little brother on the scoresheet. CITEH CITEH CITEH.

Chelsea v Brentford – 2:00pm EST

Are Chelsea overachieving? No. They have spent $1 Billion on players. They have enough players on their books to field a different lineup for each competition that they’re in. Cmon now people. Be real with yourself. 2nd place in the league, walking through the Conference league, a billion dollars on players, what else did you expect? Brentford just spanked Newcastle last weekend, dicing them up for 4 goals. Don’t be surprised if this game is high scoring. I’ll be here for it.

We get blessed with a full plate of matches this weekend on both days, so let’s soak it in. With a little parlay for the boys? Sure. So far this season, I am 40-26 betting on Premier League games. Last year, I posted a 101-75 record. Slow and steady wins the race boys. I am desperate for a winner. I’ll post a “builder” parlay and track each individual legs for the sake of the season record.

Parlay:

Newcastle ML + Both Teams to Score, Arsenal + o1.5 Goals, City/United 02.5, Chelsea/Brentford Both Teams to Score (+700)

This is not gambling advice, this is just the way of the road.m

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