I am writing this as I am watching Manchester City struggle with Everton at home. I don’t know what CIty has done to deserve this run of form. Haaland just missed a penalty. That’s how you know there is some witchcraft going on with this football club. But I’m not worried. Let’s get started.

Thursday- 12.26.24

Bournemouth v Crystal Palace – 10:00am EST

Both of these clubs are very hard to figure out. They’re beating teams that they shouldn’t. Palace is 3-7-7 on the season. Bournemouth just spanked Manchester United at Old Trafford 3-0. All signs point to Bournemouth. But every time I choose Bournemouth to win, they don’t. I don’t know what to say. I can’t fully trust either of these teams. Let’s lean on the under 2.5 goals.

Newcastle v Aston Villa – 10:00am EST

I told you all last weekend that Manchester City should not have been favored against Aston Villa. And look what happened. Villa came out on top. These two clubs are separated by two points. Newcastle handed Ipswich a 4-0 defeat at home but on the other hand, it is Ipswich. They should not be in the top flight. Villa beat a struggling City side convincingly and this Newcastle team should be a tougher opponent at the moment. St. James’ Park should be jumping for this tie and they should be. It’ll be the highest scoring game of the day. If you build it, the goals will come. Over.

Nottingham Forest v Tottenham – 10:00am EST

Watching these Spurs is like throwing up in your own mouth and swallowing it back down. I would do anything to not watch these players. I’ll take Spurs so you don’t have to. Take Forest. I’ll take one for the team. Nasty.

Wolverhampton v Manchester United – 12:30pm EST

Luckily for Wolves, this game is not being played at Old Trafford. It was posted on my X timeline that Old Trafford was experiencing a rat infestation. I saw the reports. I believe them. Believe everything you see online, especially if it is about Manchester United. Leaky roofs and rats. Sad state that football club is in. Dancing after going from 13th to 13th. Game is lost in that locker room. I will be tuning in because it is my duty to be United’s #1 hater. Just an overall stinky and gross game. Give me some goals here. I hope both teams lose. I’ll see you in the Championship next season, Wolves.

Liverpool v Leicester City – 3:00pm EST

Liverpool and the over.

The EPL Unfiltered Parlay: Week 18

Bournemouth and Draw, Newcastle/Villa Both Teams to Score + o2.5, Spurs ML, Wolves/United o2.5, Liverpool + o2.5 (+1375)

Season Record: 44-30

This is not gambling advice, its just Boxing Day

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@dylankois