The title says it all. It’s quite simple my friends. Joey Chestnut is one of the greatest athletes of all time. Now join me on this journey as I break this down.

First of all, let’s ask ourselves the question – what is an athlete? Dalton defines an athlete as the following below from his Tiger Woods piece:

“What is an athlete? That is crucial to understand. An athlete is a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina. Pretty clear cut. Golf does not require physical strength, agility, or stamina“

I agree with this definition besides the Golf portion. Golf is a sport, Dalton is just a certified Muppet for spewing that nonsense. HOWEVER… if I had to use 15 mulligans every other hole I’d probably think the same way.

That being said, we also need to define what the word “Sports” means before we break down why Chestnut is the GOAT. Sports can properly be defined as “an activity involving physical exertion and skill in ‘which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment. If the event is on ESPN, it is considered a sport.”

To the the muffins that started off this article thinking Competitive Eating isn’t a sport, I just proved you wrong. Let’s continue…

Now that the loose-ends are tied up, let’s dig deep into why Mr. Chestnut is one the Greatest Athletes of All Time.

When the discussion of GOATs (sports wise) comes up, you must think of a few key aspects that contribute to calling an athlete a “GOAT”. Thanks to Quora AI Chatbot) we have our 5 main key points:

1. Statistical Dominance: GOAT candidates typically have impressive statistics, whether in scoring, wins, or other relevant metrics that showcase their performance over time.
2. Championships and Awards: Success in terms of championships (like Super Bowls, NBA titles, World Series, etc.) and individual awards (like MVPs) is often a major factor in the GOAT conversation.
3. Longevity and Consistency: Maintaining a high level of performance over many years is crucial. GOATs often have long careers with sustained excellence.
4. Cultural Impact: Many GOATs have a significant influence on their sport and culture, inspiring future generations and elevating the sport’s popularity.
5. Versatility and Adaptability: Some athletes stand out due to their ability to excel in various roles or adapt to changes in the game.

1) Statistical Dominance

Joey Chestnut is a freak of nature. He may be a vile disgusting creature to some, but to all he should be in consideration for the GOAT Athlete. This bucket is so easy, just take a look at some of these stats.

• 83 Hot Dogs Eaten in 10 Minutes – 2024 Netflix Chestnut vs Kobayashi: Unfinished Beed
• 76 Hot Dogs Eaten in 10 Minutes – 2021 Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest
• 62 Hot Dogs Eaten in 10 Minutes – 2023 Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest
• 141 Boiled Eggs Eaten in 8 Minutes – 2013 World Hard-Boiled Egg-Eating Championship
• 81 Eggo-Style Waffles in 8 Minutes – 2019 San Jose Barracuda Hockey Game Frozen Waffle Contest
• 240 Wings in 12 Minutes – 2023 U.S. Chicken Wing Eating Championship
• Check out the rest of the list here

The list goes on and on, there are to many to add. He may be a sick fuck, but this man is a stat sheet monster.

2) Championships & Awards

To be the GOAT you’ve got to be a Champion. Chestnut is more than a champion. He’s a God in his sport. Take a list of a few championships and accolades he’s been able to rack up:

• 55 World Records for Competitive Eating
• Major League Eating: Greatest Eater in History Award
• 16x Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest Champion

No shot in hell I was going to list out the 55 World Records he had. You have fingers, just click the link.

3) Longevity and Consistency

Joey Chestnut began his career in 2005 and is still rolling. For the people not good at math, unlike me, he has had a 20-year career so far in Competitive Eating. Other key GOAT athletes who have reached that 20-Year active mark include Tom Brady, Tiger Woods, and LeBum James (MJ Better). Chestnut clearly has the longevity box checked off.

Now for the consistency part, Chetsnut has been winning events and setting records from Year 1 up until now.

In 2005, his rookie year, he shocked the world by eating 6.3 pounds of Asparagus in 11.5 minutes winning the Deep Fried Asparagus Championship. Now flash forward to September 2024, he set a new record for crushing 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Let’s check off consistency as well.

He simply wins and sets records. No matter the time. No matter the place. He will show up and give it his all. You can’t beat that and you can’t teach that.

4) Cultural Impact

When discussing GOATs, you have to bring up the cultural impact on said athletes. Let’s keep this short and sweet. When I mention July 4th what comes to mind?

Exactly… America, Freedom, Beach, Beers, Family, Friends, Baseball, and Joey Chestnut.

Throughout the years, Chestnut has become an American Icon for his brave record-setting performances during the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Contest. It’s become such a popular event, thanks to Chestnut, that you gather with the fellas before hitting the beach/bars to watch.

Watch him put this cuck in a headlock in the middle of the contest!

Such a legendary play here.

If it wasn’t for Joey Chestnut, the Hot Dog Eating Contest would not be as popular as it is. We all know that.

Chestnut is more than just an Athlete. He’s more than just the GOAT. He is an icon.

5) Versatility and Adaptability

Does it get more versatile than having 55 World Records for consuming different foods. This man can house anything. Put a bunch of children from Haiti in front of him and I bet he may eat them as well.

In terms of adaptability, Chestnut just signed with a plant-based vegan company. Now I’m not going to go on a tirade about vegans right now, all I will say is this once again covers the two main points here. He can house real food while he can also house artificial food. Nothing will stop him.

Conclusion

Ladies and gentlemen, to conclude you on this masterpiece, I want to leave you with one thing. Name me one athlete who has as many Championships, Awards, and record setting peformcnaes as Joey Chestnut has.

You can’t.

After supplying you all with stone-cold facts and numbers, numbers don’t lie, it is fair to proclaim Joey Chestnut is in the Greatest Athlete of All Time. If you believe he’s not the greatest, you have to at least consider him in the debate.

Cheers and God Bless you all.