The weekend results in the Premier League this week were absolutely shocking. That might be an understatement. Really, the only game that you could have predicted was the Liverpool and Bournemouth matchup. That’s about it. There’s a lot to get in to and we must not overreact. Let’s go.

Nottingham Forest- 7 v. Brighton & Hove Albion- 0

How about that one for a script flip huh? Last week, Forest go on the road to Bournemouth and get absolutely smashed by 5-0. This week, they’re at home for Brighton and they just don’t take the foot off the pedal and crush Brighton 7-0. Crazy. This is why we watch. That is exactly what Forest needed to do to bounce back from last week. Take a bow. If you read my article on Friday, I said that Chris Wood was going to get in for a double. And what does this guy do? Hat-trick. The nerve of this guy huh? I mean, that’s just what world class players do. They show up when you need them to. Forest move up to 47 points on the season and they seemed to have adjusted the defensive mistakes that we saw last week. I am definitely keeping my eye on Forest. As for Brighton, just punt the rest of the season and come back next season. Sign some good attackers while you’re at it. Also, rejecting an absurd bid from Saudi for Mitoma? Are these guys nuts? Bad business. Next.

Bournemouth- 0 v. Liverpool- 2

I woke up feeling optimistic about this match. Bournemouth look incredible. They’re on an unbeaten run in the league. They’re scoring goals at will. Stinker. Am I surprised? No. Don’t expect others to take care of your own business. Bournemouth showed flashes of excitement and promise but it was just a smokescreen. These guys were never in it. After they hit the post and Kluivert missed a wide open net to almost tie the game, I knew they guys were not for real. And it was right after that when Liverpool marched right down and scored their second to go 2-0 up. That’s how you do it. Strong at the back. Executed attacks when they needed to. Along with some insane help from VAR, it is utterly impossible to beat Liverpool. I don’t know if they’ll lose another game at this point.

Newcastle- 1 v. Fulham- 2

This was a great game. I really thought Newcastle was going to use the home field advantage to push them over the edge but Fulham just never stopped. Newcastle went up 1-0 late in the first half and were comfortable going into halftime. Yes, Fulham had a couple of good attacks but it was never really a worry for Newcastle. But Fulham just kept going. It was back and forth. The whole game but Fulham just hit on a counter through Raul Jimenez in the 61st and then again in the 82nd minute. Bit of a shock if you ask me. I don’t know, what do you want me to say? London is white? Whatever. Washed Newcastle? Ok.

Wolves- 2 v. Aston Villa- 0

Aston Villa. You had one job this weekend. All I asked you to do was to just beat this sad excuse of a football club. Not only did you lose to Wolves 2-0, you let them get out of the relegation zone on top of it. If Wolves somehow manage to escape relegation, Villa will be public enemy number one for me. Since United is no longer relevant in this league, Villa will now be the enemy. I am going to be very transparent, I didn’t watch this game. 70% possession and more shot attempts should be enough to get the win in my book. The only problem: They have the Manchester United stink from Marcus Rashford now on them after taking him in on loan for the rest of the season. Shame. SHAME.

Manchester United- 0 v. Crystal Palace- 2

Let’s all take a minute to stop and laugh at this extremely sad and pathetic club. HAHAHAH. These guys have now lost a Manchester United record, seven home matches this season. And we are not close to finished. February has only just started. When do you think United will bring in a real striker like Jean-Philippe Mateta? When do you think they will stop kidding themselves with Zirkzee and Hojlund? Those guys may be the worst striker partnership to grace the game of football. United dominated possession, had more shot attempts and corner kick total was 11-0. And yet, here we are. 8-5-11 on the season with no help coming in to save them. 13th in the table and their next game in the league is against relegation rival, Spurs. Whoever loses that one, get ready for the ultimate slander on the X timeline. Palace are on pace to finish in their claimed spot of 12th place just like every other season so I am quite content with them. Well done lads.

Brentford- 0 v. Tottenham Hotspur- 2

I had so much hope for Brenford. Hand up. I said good luck to Spurs before this game even started in my last article. Hand up, I was wrong. Some how, some way Spurs managed to find a way to win a game. They got lucky in the first half with a Brentford own goal and then got a lucky bounce against an inexperienced keeper, leading to the game sealing goal. They found a way to survive. With that lineup, they managed to survive. If Brentford had got one early in the first half, I think this game could have ended very bad for Spurs. Spurs have Manchester United next in the league, so who knows what could happen for them. Brentford, please please pease. You cannot have a front of all wingers. It is not going to work. You need a striker, I am begging.

Arsenal- 5 v. Manchester City- 1

Aura FC: This was their Super Bowl. This was their UCL final. Congratulations!