I just want to start off by saying that if I do not hit a footy parlay this weekend, I am going to go on a walk. By myself. I’ll need to take some time to collect my thoughts because the Champions League this week has absolutely kicked my ass. I am absolutely lost. A bunch of nonsense has been going on and it is time to get back to my roots. Good old English soccer. Time to revive the units. Let’s be great.

Saturday, March 8th, 2025

Nottingham Forest v. Manchester City | 7:30am EST

What an absolute treat the schedule makers cooked up for us bright and early on Saturday morning. But don’t be fooled. This one will not be close. City handled Forest with ease back in December at the Etihad, 3-0. And I am expecting the same outcome. Forest will not finish the season in a Champions league position. I will die on that hill. But I do love me some Chris Wood. Pause. When City inevitably go down one within 10 minutes on Saturday, City will then take control from there. Similar to how they handled going down against Chelsea. KDB will get a start in this one and look like pre-injury Kevin. Haaland will be on a hat trick by the halftime whistle and complete it in the second half. And dare I say a Savinho master class? We will be there. Bad news haters, I will be waking up early on Saturday. With a win, City will jump Forest and claim 3rd place by two points. And when Arsenal lose to United on Sunday, we will be set up beautifully to challenge them for their second place title. You read that correctly.

Crystal Palace v. Ipswich Town | 10:00am EST

Ipswich Town try to look competent challenge: Level second easiest opponent left in the season? I mean, these guys are basically on the way out. Maybe just try to learn something from this experience? Palace, Forest, Bournemouth, Wolves, Chelsea, Arsenal, Newcastle, Everton, Brentford, Leicester, and West Ham on the final day. I really wish they could be the ones to send Wolves down but it is not looking great.

Brentford v. Aston Villa | 12:30pm EST

I am so unbelievably done with betting on Aston Villa games this season. They are on the same level to me as AC Milan. For those that don’t know what I am talking about, Milan operates and is recently talked about as a big big club, yet they are so inconsistent that they have found themselves permanently banned from our parlays for the rest of the season. Every time I bet on these guys, they lose. Every time I bet against them because the matchup is not favorable, they come out on top. I cannot keep them around on my nice list. I am quitting them. But I will say, every time Marcus Rashford does something important for Villa, I will be the first guy asking Manchester United fans if they could use a guy like him. Villa are still fighting for European placement next season as they sit in 10th with Brentford right behind them in 11th. Theoretically speaking, Villa need this game more since they are doing well in Europe this season, so we should take Villa. Wrong. That’s the old me. We will not be taking anything in this one. BUT, if I was to take anything, we would be on Brentford using reverse psychology. Hands up, back away.

Wolverhampton v. Everton | 3:00pm EST

I still cannot believe that it has taken this long but for the love of God, Everton. I am asking you for a favor. Scratch that. I am not asking. I am begging you. Please hand these guys a loss. And not just a normal loss. I need a four or five goal margin of victory. I’ve been asking for this for what seems like months now but in reality it has only been like three weeks. I am throwing my full support behind David Moyes and his squad this weekend. Take it to the bank. That is all I have for this one. I will not accept any other result and will continue this mission until the task at hand is accomplished.

Sunday, March 9th, 2025

Tottenham Hotspur v. Bournemouth | 10:00am EST

Spurs manager Ange Postecoglou just celebrated his team’s 1-0 loss in Europa league this week and basically said going on the road and only losing by one goal is a simple win. I have news for you big Ange, that is a definite loss. When you don’t score against a team of farmers and let the farmers score on you, that is a loss. By all definitions of a loss. I don’t really blame the guy. He did say that in his second season he usually wins trophies. But I don’t think he knew about what club he was signing up for. I’ll give him that. With that being said, this guy is a loser. This team is filled with losers. I am not surprised about their place in the table. They just lost to a team that no one except their fans could tell you where they play. Which only means that Spurs are going to come out and look unbelievable. That’s how they have been operating this season. But that doesn’t mean that they are going to win the game. I didn’t say that. Bournemouth are clearly the better team. They are there to play for European football next season. Take the over.

Manchester United v. Arsenal | 12:30pm EST

The grand finale of the weekend. What a delightful treat for us rivals. Regardless of who wins, we get to make fun of whoever loses. How awesome is that? Let’s get down and dirty. Let’s begin with Aura FC, Corner FC and Vibes FC. Or my favorite, Second Place FC. Let me tell you something real quick. This second place super team just played in the champions league on Wednesday. They beat PSV 7-1 and they didn’t have a striker or a good forward in the lineup. I could not believe my eyes. PSV did not deserve that score line. The football community has more respect for PSV than Arsenal. They may have beaten a smaller opponent during the week. But they have yet to travel to Old Trafford and beat the Red Devils. A Manchester United team that will (hopefully) be more motivated than ever. They just played in the Europa league on Thursday and gave up their lead to finish the game in a tie. My guess would be that Amorim will have those boys up for this fixture. This will be Arsenal’s scheduled loss for the rest of the season. I’m not saying they wont drop any more points after this one but it could be their last loss. Here we go!

EPL Unfiltered Parlay: Week 28

• Manchester City ML
• Crystal Palace Team Total over 1.5
• Brighton/Fulham Both Teams to Score
• Everton ML
• Manchester United/Arsenal over 2.5

Season Record: 73-52

This is not gambling advice, it’s just do or die this week.

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