Wow. What a long break, huh? Buckle up. I have a lot on my mind. A lot happened last week and before that you guys haven’t heard from me for two weeks. Damn international football. I’ve been casually throwing out takes on X and I am going to bring them in here. Although most of my audience probably reads them anyway. Tough. We got a champions league qualification to chase.

Saturday, April 12th, 2025

Manchester City v. Crystal Palace | 7:30am EST

Well, well, well. We meet again Palace. We shared the points evenly in December but that will not happen again. City just played the most boring derby in the longest time. Kevin De Bruyne will be on a mission to save this City side and get them over the finish line for a champions league place. I really do pray for Crystal Palace for this ass kicking that they are about to receive. I don’t even know what happened that week but I think there was like three red cards given out against Brighton. And yet, Palace still won the match. Not this weekend. They have to come to the Etihad. 4-0 to the Blues!

Nottingham Forest v. Everton | 10:00am EST

Oh my sweet, sweet David Moyes. Do I have quite the favor for you my friend. Remember all of those years when you were at West Ham and we had all of those great times together? You guys would always run up against us in the last couple of weeks and let us walk through for the win. Those times were awesome. The two of us. It was fun. I have another favor my friend. Forest have been slowing down a bit in the league but the problem is: Arsenal are also dropping points. So that is not good for City. Everton are in 15th place on 35 points, 15 points away from the relegation zone. So Everton are going to be safe for another season in the premier league. If I was Everton, my aim is to finish above Spurs and United. That would be a win after firing Sean Dyche. Please bring the game to Forest this weekend.

Brighton & Hove Albion v. Leicester City | 10:00am EST

Uh, Leicester. Score a goal maybe. That’s how you win games. Otherwise, stop wasting everyone’s time and forfeit.

Arsenal v. Brentford | 12:30pm EST

I honestly do not even want to talk about this game because next week, Mikel Arteta are going to have these guys playing the nastiest, most terror inducing (for the audience) football that man has ever seen. But, I digress. Brentford attempted to play in a match last week against Chelsea but apparently everyone in the stadium fell asleep. I fell asleep watching this game on my couch. Talk about a bunch of cardio merchants am I right? Holy f man the pain that the entire stadium sat through last week, everyone should receive a refund for their entry into the stadium. What a joke. But the result of the match was good for City so I cannot complain that much. In fact, if Brentford want to do that all over again this weekend I will not complain at all. Arsenal will probably rest some of their guys in preparation for the champions league fixture coming next week, so Brentford could possibly maybe even sneak a win in here. But I wont get my hopes up. Another year of second place. Their own treble! Phase nine Arteta-ball ladies and gentlemen!

Sunday, April 13th, 2025

Liverpool v. West Ham United | 9:00am EST

West Ham put up a good fight last weekend against Bournemouth but eventually they ended up conceding the equalizer after pulling ahead in quick fashion. That’s the story of the season for West Ham. They either don’t look remotely close to what they should look like with the squad quality they have or end up giving it away before the final whistle. It is really a shame. I am desperately asking for West Ham to sign a real striker that is not 40 years old. Jonathan David. On a FREE. Cmon guys. London needs a real football team again. Show us something one time against the champions to give us mutuals some hope for your future. Is Graham Potter the guy? Time will tell. Finishing in 16th place will not be a good start. Let’s get on your horses fellas. Liverpool 2-0.

Newcastle United v. Manchester United | 11:30am EST

I cannot wait for this. This will be the funeral for Manchester United and will finally put to rest their 2024-2025 season. Newcastle will probably win by four or more goals. These sorry United players are feeling all high and mighty after winning their draw against City last week. They have another thing coming this weekend. Isak will have that stadium absolutely pumping with what he’s about to do to “Kobe Mainoo” and Leny Yoro. I cannot wait. It’ll be 2-0 before the fifteenth minute of the game. I guarantee it. United can throw up any combination of a front three and it will not matter. Those guys are so god awful in any formation of them. The mass exodus that we will see in the summer will really put things into light. It will truly show all of us how horrendous these players are when they put those ugly red kits on and when they find a new home, they will shine. Look at every player that has left Old Trafford. Nothing more for this. Magpies will rise.

EPL Unfiltered Parlay: Week 32

City ML + o2.5

Villa ML

Brighton/Leicester u2.5

Spurs ML

Newcastle ML

Season Record: 78-57

This is not gambling advice, its just April