Wow boys. I don’t even have an opener for this week. These games were incredibly mid, I don’t even know what to say. Bad weekend to be an Ipswich Town, all I have to say. Let’s get started.

Newcastle United- 1 v. Bournemouth- 4

This game was over from the beginning. Newcastle just seemed to be out of gas from the first whistle. It just seemed like every time Bournemouth entered the final third, they were able to get a shot away. I mean, these guys had 19 shot attempts. That’s crazy. With ten of them actually being on net. The complete confidence was there from the beginning with Justin Kluivert. The composer this guy had was insane. He completely deserved his hat-trick. You could tell he was controlling the game. The whole team was clicking despite not having a senior striker in the squad. But that is what good teams do. They have other players step up in big games when they’re asked to. Bournemouth now find themselves in 6th place after 22 games. Newcastle have now dropped to 5th, as long as Chelsea don’t win on Monday. But let’s not panic, magpies. Remain the course. You’ll find champions league football again.

Brentford- 0 v. Liverpool- 2

What a shocker. That Brentford super team that showed up last week against Manchester City decided to roll over when Liverpool came to town. Who would have seen that one coming? Me. That’s who. Every time these guys play anyone not named Liverpool FC, they actually come out and compete. To be fair to the Bees, they held Liverpool scoreless until the stoppage time arrived. It’s like the 4th officials board went up and they just immediately folded. I will not forgive you Thomas Frank. A couple weeks ago, Darwin Nunez was exiled by the supporters and now he has one decent performance and is linked away from the club they act like nothing happened. Telling Erling Haaland to come outside? Get over yourselves. Small club behavior. I expect that from a little club like Manchester United but from my fellow Citypool lovers? No. You are what you are now because of Manchester City. Don’t forget that. Who will catch the scousers?

West Ham United- 0 v. Crystal Palace- 2

Just an ugly game from the Hammers. These guys dominated possession and controlled the game. Seven shot attempts, zero on target. It really just came down to Palace looking more clinical in the final third. They had their chances and took them. Twelve shot attempts, seven on target. That right there is how you win games. Although, I did say neither of these teams have a proper defense. Palace defenders surprised me. But not by much. West Ham’s attacking players just lacked the creativity and confidence. It’s hard to compete when your attack consists of Paqueta, an attacking midfielder, Soucek, a defensive midfielder, and Kudus, a winger. That formula will not get you anywhere. For the love of god man, GO GET A STRIKER. GET KUDUS A COMPLIMENTARY WINGER. You have to do something. You can’t expect Graham Potter to succeed and get this team out of the mud with the current squad. Also, the late red card by Mavropanos does not help their case. Such a shame. I really like that club and their supporters. They don’t deserve this.

Arsenal- 2 v. Aston Villa- 2

Well well well. Aura FC are still dropping points I see. Corner FC, Set-Piece FC, whatever you call this banter club. That is all that they will ever be. Pure banter. They ask for it too. The players. The fans. The manager. All of it. Someone tell these guys that once you go up 2-0 after 55 minutes that the other team will still try to score. And for all of you squids crying that the no goal call on Havertz wasn’t a handball, time to read a book. Go outside and touch some grass. Maybe get your prescription checked. In no world did those guys deserve to win that game. They went up and got caught lacking after 15 minutes. If you’re a serious club, you can’t let that happen. Especially against a good team like Aston Villa, those guys get paid to play too you know. The mighty Arsenal, embarrassing yet again. Up the Villa.

Everton- 3 v. Tottenham Hotspur- 2

Don’t be fooled by this score line. Spurs were never in this game. It was 3-0 at halftime. These guys in white are absolutely defeated. No confidence, no creativity, no character, no passion. Just guys out there collecting checks. Hell, David Moyes may be a miracle worker because he’s got Dominic Calvert-Lewin scoring again. That guy has been broken for like three years now. And he actually played well against Spurs. Now I know what you’re going to say. But DK, Spurs aren’t playing their first choice back line, some guys are injured. I do not care. In the year 2025, if you are down 3-0 against Everton Football Club at halftime, you really need to take a long look in the mirror and start to reevaluate everything that you know or believe in. Everton haven’t been a serious team in about a decade now. Spurs need to rebuild that defense desperately. Maybe change the team name. I don’t know. London isn’t any color, London is just straight ass Son.

Manchester United- 1 v. Brighton & Hove Albion- 3

These jokers man. Now if you think Spurs are a banter club, let me introduce you to Manchester United. This club is currently finding a way to keep their best and longest tenured player, Marcus Rashford, away from the team. This guy Ruben Amorim is putting out these lineups every week that look the exact same and he is expecting a different outcome. This guy Ruben Amorim is a manager that plays a system that really focuses on using wing backs to transition, and yet, Manchester United currently employ zero (0) wing backs at the club. How on earth are they expecting this guy to succeed? Amorim may actually have United lower in the table than they were when Ten Haag was sacked. I love it. It brings me joy. Dare I say relegation? Is it possible? I thank you for your service Brighton, I thank you.

Ipswich Town- 0 v. Manchester City- 6

I am not even joking when I say this, we are back. So back that Pep is going through a divorce with his wife of 30 years in order to continue being our manager. We just signed two young center backs to help this struggling defense, and we have an Egyptian striker coming in to town. On top of that, Oscar Bobb is on his way back from injury AND City still are going to sign a new midfielder before this January window closes. 115 charges? No no no no. We are so past that. Listen to me right now. Currently, City sit in 4th place, six points off of Arsenal and Forest for second and 12 behind Liverpool. Come May, you better hope it is not Manchester City lifting that Premier League trophy. You will never hear the end of it. I promise that. Ipswich, thanks for trying in the league. Not there yet to compete.